The beginning

Sometimes I find it crazy to believe that someone such as myself could be experiencing depression.  At age 26. Why now? What has led to this? How can I overcome it and still be a good parent to my son? These are all questions that I ask myself.

It’s been three months since the signs started to show. Well to the outside world moreover.  I became more withdrawn, moody, wearing excessive make up than usual, my home became cluttered which should have been a huge sign particularly for someone who seemed to have bouts of OCD lol

Then came the somewhat meltdown…

Up to now I have no recollection of what triggered the depression but what I do know is that I WILL overcome it and am on the road to healing myself internally. I am doing this by attempting to release all issues from my past such as rape, experiencing a stillborn, mental and physical abuse in past relationships.  Not only that but also having to deal with other peoples insecurity through immediate dislike to ones self because of how I am aesthetically and talking about me which over time subconsciously affected my self-esteem and self-confidence and categorically in my opinion led to my downward spiral.

What I hope to achieve as to why I decided to start this blog pretty much detailing my depression though I will be including other topics or thoughts rather is because depression affects millions of people worldwide besides myself in some instances you may not even realise that you’re actually suffering from depression.  Or are aware, but simply do not wish to come to terms with that fact due to the stigmatisation that surrounds depression.

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3 thoughts on “The beginning

  1. I thought you were very open an honest and like you I too believe that is the key to beating this, being open to having depression. Unlike some people you have your little son to fight for. My strengh I send to. You will always be in my prayers.

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    • Thank you for your comment. I feel it’s important to be honest and by sharing my feelings which hopefully other sufferers can identify with, healing can occur.

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  2. It’s really brave of you to explain all the things that have had a negative impact on you in such a public forum. I think in life people seem to believe that admitting to feeling hurt by others actions or situations beyond their control means they have loss the battle. That is not true and it is with reflection and confrontation of your own emotions that you find yourself and realise that much of the negativity in your thinking may have been transferred from someone else’s insecurities. Sadly human nature tends to focus on the negative and dismiss successes but I hope in time your own view of yourself and your life transcends the rubbish people not happy with their own lives spew and negative cycles of thought are broken. You are strong enough and you’ve just acknowledged the challenge.

    You have a great writing style much love =)

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