Against All Odds

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.” ― George Bernard Shaw

The Bumpy Road

I never elected to be a single parent but unfortunately things happen in life that sometimes we have no control over. Rather than play the victim I made the decision to take responsibility for my actions than opt for the easy way out.

Stereotypes

As the years passed since having my son it soon became apparent that there seemed to be this preconceived perception of single mothers. We were either: on benefits, churning kids out one after the other, lazy or raising bad children to name a few… I never realised that my family structure bore license for criticism from strangers let alone friends and even an ex-partner.

I become so obsessed with this label as if were pinned to my back in it’s literal context that I tried aimlessly to rid myself of it. So much so that I slipped into mild depression.

But I am not a stereotype.

I am a single parent that works 37 ½ hours per week in order to provide for my child. I am not a perfect mum but the best mum that I can be right now trying her utmost best to raise a happy and healthy son with a cultivated sense of self. I want my son to develop a level of understanding from my experiences that there is absolutely nothing standing in his way but himself and that he can attain anything he desires as long as he puts in the work.

Victory

Against all odds I have dealt with adversity and stereotypes and even overcame depression being a single parent. No matter how much my goals and ambitions were challenged from lack of support to clash of timetables and childcare. I still persevered and to date still working hard on conquering all I have set out to achieve in this life.

So watch this space!

 

In response to: Daily Prompt

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4 thoughts on “Against All Odds

  1. It’s an interesting area. I’m kind of suspicious of privileged people saying that poor people are not held back by their circumstances, for example, but for most people living without privilege it seems really important to follow the mantra that you’re teaching your son.

    Whilst I agree with George Bernard Shaw that people shouldn’t look to blame their circumstances, and will teach my kids the same way as you, it’s also tough to avoid the fact that from some social backgrounds (thinking more of deprivation here, not single parenthood), the % of people who become affluent is very small, whereas from the rich areas, without even applying themselves, the kids will all be comfortable in adulthood anyway. They’ll get the best schooling, best opportunities, etc.

    Like you say though, this all makes it really important for kids to be taught to overcome adversity instead of using it as a reason not to push themselves! (I’m sure your son’s very fortunate in his role model.)

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    • Thank you so much for taking time out to comment. That is why I want to push my son as he grows up to seek out every opportunity afforded to him. He nor I have been blessed with the luxury of being born with a silver spoon in our mouths and with that in mind we definitely have to work harder on the whole hence why I do like the sentiments of Mr Shaw’s quote with my interpretation also being that we shouldn’t allow our circumstances from stopping us from attaining certain heights.

      I agree with what you mentioned with regards to social backgrounds but believe that when you have to work for something it is more valuable to you than receiving it on a platter so to speak. 🙂

      – Naomi

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  2. First of all, you sound like you’re a fabulous mother already, wanting the best for your son, and working very hard to make lives comfortable for the both of you. There are always going to be people who will be critical, judgmental and try to bring you down. To say the least, they can think and feel what they like, but they have no right as they are probably so consumed with other peoples’ lives, they don’t look at their own flaws and weaknesses they should be working on. It sounds like you have stayed strong, or endured these comments and hard times, but you are still here, making something of your life, and moving forward in a positive way.

    I watched the academies the other day, and Jared Leto himself (not that he’s the best mentor or person on single mothers and maybe not the best example to share), but he said the one person he wanted to thank was a single mother who raised her children, and wanted the best for them, and encouraged them to be creative, reach for their dreams and do the best they could. He was referring to his mom, and that goes to show, it does not matter what kind of background people are coming from necessarily. You are doing the best you can, and you are doing a more than wonderful job of it as a mom!

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    • Hi thank you so much for your comment it really means a lot. I think it bowls down to the fact that I just don’t want my son to be hindered by his family structure. An when you have had people around you being critical it makes you feel that you have to work twice as hard to prove everyone wrong. I just want to prepare him and make sure he does his best and hopefully when he is grown it may be me getting an accolade of some form like Jared Leto’s mother. 🙂

      – Naomi.

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