What Once Was

“The past is never where you think you left it.”
― Katherine Anne Porter

When I awoke I smiled as I saw who was laying besides me. I tried to hide my rather cheesy grin by pulling the covers back over my head to which he pulled them off and began to tickle me until we were on an all out war under the covers.

It’s funny how I had opted to travel back in time and it was him who I had travelled back in time to see. The one that had hurt me the most but yet still the one my heart would never let go of no matter how much things and people I had deployed within my life in order to forget. Forget the void he had seemed to unwittingly left me with.

It was a bittersweet moment knowing that I was floating on cloud nine to be back in his arms again but at the same time indifference at how he had made me feel at times over the years.

As I stared at him I thought back to how amazing things were in the beginning though there had initially been a few hiccups to start with. But then things blossomed into something special. He was not only my lover but he was my best friend. The best friend that I had felt comfortable enough to be my silly childish self with. The best friend that I would natter away to and must have probably drove half insane with my indecisiveness. But most importantly the best friend that I trusted wholly.

So much so when we broke up I was in denial for a quite some time afterwards not understanding why completely it had happened and being so broken up about it that it took me quite some time to get myself together and move on.

Funny thing this and here I was back in the perpetrators presence as if nothing had occurred.

There was so much that I had wanted to say but instead I sat there in silence with my thoughts as I basked in the moment. Knowing that it would soon be over.

Maybe I hadn’t gone back to see this ex because I was supposed to alter things in order to change the future but to realise that sometimes things are best left in the past.

This was just life’s way via me transporting back in time to realise that this unison may not have worked out simply because I require someone different and was simply a way to make room in order for this to happen.

As I smiled at this realisation I opened my eyes to see that I was back in familiar territory surrounded by my two sons strewn across me breathing lightly as they slept and I melted knowing that this was where I was supposed to be…


Daily Post: Time Machine



2 thoughts on “What Once Was

  1. Pingback: Royal Male | litadoolan

  2. Pingback: Nature’s Second Chance | Wired With Words

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